I have neglected my blog again!!
So I am super excited because we just started a new study in my women’s bible study called “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer. I have the book/workbook, and we are only one week in, but I would recommend it for sure. Now, in my other life group for Young Married Couples, we started a new semester as well. What we hit on last week was what I really wanted to write about:
Friendship ——> Video
So as a young married couple fresh out of college, it’s really hard to find real “friends.” We lost touch with many people who we hung out with out of convenience, and our real friends obtained jobs and moved.
Outside of work, how do you make connections with people? Well… even at work, like Jon’s, all his co-workers are much older than him. For me, substitute teaching at the moment, I don’t see people often enough in the tens of schools I sub in to find/build real relationships.
Church has become paramount for Jon and I, not only for our vertical relationship, but our horizontal relationships. We found a ‘life group’ (small group) that connected us with people in the same stage of life as us, but that’s not where it stopped for us. It takes effort to build these friendships/relationships. It’s an investment of our time, energy, love and compassion, sometimes money, but once you have them, they are irreplaceable.
This is what Jon and I are working on:
Be Intent: Putting ourselves out there, making connections with people. This is hardest for me. I want to sit inside my house with a book and read in a corner with a blanket and some snacks. Jon is good at this. He loves being around people. That is is energy! If we aren’t resolved to make ourselves available, or be the ones to reach out and make a connection, we will always have one-sided relationships that won’t last because the other party will grow tired of being intent without receiving anything in return.
Be Present: Face-to-face! We rely so much on texting and social media to communicate that sometimes we forget how important it is to be face-to-face. It’s so much more meaningful and says so much about how much time you are willing to invest in someone. Not only does being present mean face-to-face, but be present of mind, too. Many times I will find my mind wandering – thinking about my job, my to-do list, or just anything other than what Jon is talking to me about. It’s rude, and I’m not investing the time my husband deserves in our relationship when I do that. We need to train our minds to be ‘present’ and focused on what others are saying and not thinking about what we are going to say next. This is somethings I think both Jon and I struggle with occasionally.
Be Open: Be transparent with our lives. No one is perfect. This is hardest for Jon. He wants to keep our business our own. This is easy for me… remember, I am more of an ‘over-sharer.’ I have to walk a fine line. I want to share what we are struggling with and ask for prayer or something significant in our lives that we have struggled with in the past that I think may help someone else relate to. “We may impress people with our strengths, but we connect through weaknesses”
If you watch the video that I linked in the beginning, it talks about how we are the average of all our friends. Who we spend time with says a lot about our character, and sometimes, I find myself hanging out with people because they are there. Because I do that, I may find myself doing things I know I shouldn’t – like gossiping or being hateful. I need to focus on being a positive light and influence on those around me!
I want to be the friend who helps you be successful, encourages you, someone you can call and talk to, a shoulder to cry on, uplifting spiritually.
“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10: 24-25
Be intent, be open, and be present…