Re·spect

noun \ri-ˈspekt\

: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.

: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way

: a particular way of thinking about or looking at something

Again, thank you Webster!

Who do you respect in life?  Is it your mother or father?  Your boss or co-workers? How about your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife?  This is something that always bugged me, but it wasn’t until recently that it was brought to my attention – it wasn’t just my family that did this…

It is now socially accepted for women to be disrespectful and demeaning to men.  It is also the norm for women to be in charge of the household as much as it is for a man to be in charge.  I’m going to start by saying, there is nothing wrong with women running the household (Especially you single mothers! I’m rooting for you!) However, the way some men are treated now has become a bit of a double standard.

When I was growing up, my father was in charge of our home: he set the rules, he was the disciplinarian, he drove (most of the time), he was the bread-winner and handled the money.  This was normal to me.  Then our family had a crazy life changing turning point, we moved to Arkansas, and my mother was now the head of the house.  She made all the plans, she handled the money and the bills, she took over discipline… it was a 180.  I was eight years old at the time, so I think I adapted to the change pretty well.  We lived with my grandmother now, and my mother’s family would come over for dinner every Sunday (This is where I think it started happening).  When the family came over, they were so liberal and always spoke as though males were inferior.  I need to make sure I marry a good man.  The ring I get when I get married needs to be at least a carat. You don’t need to consult him when you want to do something (i.e. change my hair color or get a tattoo). Etc.  It drove me crazy, because the bond I have with my husband now is so incredible that I want to know what makes him happy. If he likes my hair color the way it is, I’m not going to dye it. He doesn’t want me to get a tattoo, then I probably won’t.  If I want to go buy something, I am going to ask him first.  I respect him and his opinion. This constant banter changed our household, and I’ve noticed how it’s changing in other families, too.

When I went to college, and met my husband to be, I was pretty much a self-declared feminist.  I also didn’t want to date unless I was ready to be married. I didn’t want boys holding open doors for me or carrying my books.  Of course, when I met Jon that all changed. I loved when he did all those small things for me, but I wanted him to know that I could do it for myself, too! It was really a change from how I felt inside my home.  I couldn’t understand why my family wanted to do things that didn’t please their significant others.  I cut my hair (and still do!) because Jon likes shorter hair on girls.  I don’t dye my hair because he likes redheads.  I want to do these things for him…

We’ve all heard about the wife threatening to make the husband “sleep on the couch” or be “sent to the dog house.” It’s okay for us to be disrespectful and humiliate our husbands.  But under no circumstance is it okay for the husband to disrespect his wife.  He can’t tell the wife to “make him a sandwich” or “get back in the kitchen” without a mob of angry feminists jumping him.

 

 

This video by Samsung was brought to my attention by another blogger who wrote the story that brought this subject to my attention and inspired me to write this.  The video portrays a man as a Neanderthal watching TV, but when the wife installed a evolutionary system update into him, he became the man of her dreams and did everything she wanted.  This is very sexist, and as I understand, was received negatively, but then forgotten just as quickly.  Can you imagine the reaction it would have received were the roles reversed? We should be equal partners in relationships, building each other up.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Next time you are out with your girlfriends or at a party, think about the way you talk about/to your husband.  Do you talk badly about him behind his back? Do you make fun of him and embarrass him in front of friends or family?

Show him how much you love him.  Respect him.

 

With Love and Respect,

Lykaios Chronicle